Look at yourself in the mirror. Look at yourself for a long period of time; wait until your own face stops making sense. And you’ll notice a moll here or a skin stain there. You’ll see your sides are not the same size, your nose isn’t straight, and your mouth is different right side from the left. Same thing with your body, one breast is bigger than the other; you have a scar here but not there. One arm is slightly longer than the other; actually a whole side of your body is larger than the other. A ring that fits one finger in your right hand is loose on the left, when you try shoes on, one will always fit better on one foot than in the other. But these imperfections you can see everywhere not only in yourself. Go to the country, look for a wood that was not planted by men, and you’ll notice trees aren’t lined up in perfect rows. The skies are filled with stars, some brighter than others. In some areas of the sky you’ll see clusters of stars, where in others there aren’t many, or any. Ants don’t walk in a straight line, which is the shorter distance between two points. Mountains aren’t all the same height. And the list could go on for pages and pages. Just look around you and you’ll see something that stands out or fades out, something that seems odd and makes something possibly perfect, into something imperfect. And this is what makes it beautiful. That crooked line, that spot, that stain, makes it unique, un-standardized, unrepeatable, irreplaceable, and individual. And it’s that uniqueness, that oddness that makes it beautiful. So never feel bad for being imperfect, never make someone else feel bad for not being perfect. Instead find that which makes them unique, and let them know they are beautiful because of it. A reminder from now and then is always nice, even if it comes from a stranger.
Ice cream is always one of them, sleeping, and trying to think of the positive things i have in my life.
People say you have to look for balance, they talk of balance as if it was a magical formula that after applied everything will be perfect and smooth. But this isn’t true; there is no magical formula for things to work out. The whole point about life is the everyday turmoil and every decision it takes. I honestly don’t know whether we came out of evolution or if there is a being that created us to his image, I don’t know. But what I do know is that every living thing and creature is connected, and every chemical mixture, as you will find out in school, looks for balance. It’s something that comes natural. It may not always make sense to our minds, but it’s natural. So follow your heart in every decision you have to take, for your heart will feel when it finds that equilibrium. Now you may find out that when you find that point in one area, it seems you totally lost it in another. I usually divide my areas in 1) spiritual 2) family 3) academic 4) friendship 5) love 6) job. And it always happens that when I find balance in 5 of those areas, that one missing area doesn’t let me have peace. So I quit college twice, I changed jobs more than twice, had periods where I got along fine with my family, others where I couldn’t spend much time with them, moments where I felt surrounded with friends, others where I felt I was alone, I’ve had good relationships, and horrible ones. And I still haven’t figured out the formula for equilibrium. But that’s all part of the circle of life. You have to juggle with what you get. My advice: put your heart in it, it will get hurt at times, bruised and bumped around, but only your heart will know with what decision and where it feels in balance. And no matter what everyone says, follow your heart, nobody else’s, because the only biting heart you have is yours, so protect it and follow it.
In church they teach you to be forgiving, to love your enemies, to put the other cheek. But they forget a very important part, it also says: love others as you love thyself. How come nobody focuses on “love thyself”? In my life I learned that loving others is important, but of equal importance if not more, is love yourself. This process of loving yourself isn’t about selfishness. In yoga there is a mantra that means: “God dwells in you as you.” So to love yourself is discovering those parts that God saw and loved them, and this isn’t always a nice, easy process. On the way to discovering who you are, you find out you can be a horrible person who only thinks of its own pleasure and glory. But on that process you also discover you are a loving, nurturing person, that there is some kindness in your eyes that draws people to want to get to know you and love you. In the process, you discover yourself to be human, and that it’s ok to make mistakes, its ok to change your mind, its ok to fail from time to time. And to learn from all this and to be able to look at yourself in the mirror without feeling ashamed or disgusted, that’s the first part of love and to embrace the good in you, feel discomfort with the bad and try to make it better, understanding you will fall sometimes in that process, that is love. And when you succeed in loving yourself, it’s easier to do all that which in churches they preach. Because your realize people aren’t different from you, each person is in their own path of knowing and loving themselves. And when you love yourself, you love your surroundings, because you learn that the surroundings don’t define who you are, but it’s actually the other way around, and you try to make better surroundings and to improve the ones you have. And it’s as if you begin to love everyone and everything because you find a little of yourself in all things, but in fact it’s a little of God that your finding in common in you as in others and in all things. And you find peace, and there’s no better feeling worth fighting for.
The first time I said no, it might have been too late. To the eyes of that man, I was no longer a person worthy of respect; I became a piece of flesh. I know saying no goes beyond things related to sex, drugs, and peer pressure. To say no refers to have a mind of your own. Don’t be afraid of acting, dressing or saying things that are “against the current”, don’t be afraid of contradicting what everybody says, just because society takes something as right doesn’t mean it is. Great people have made changes in history because they dared to say no: No to slavery, no to blind and depth religious obedience, no taxation without representation, no more abuse to women and children. And great things came out of those no’s: Rights for African-Americans, a translation of the Bible, Civil Rights, Independence, Women’s Rights, Children’s Rights, amongst other things. Saying no is making the difference, saying no is giving value to yourself, your thoughts and your ideals.
Though many times painful, life is meant to be lived for and not merely survived. And although it’s been a long process I can say I have finally reached that point where I found peace with my past and joy with my present. I hope that some this rules that I discovered in my path enlighten yours.
You were born on a sunny day, it was actually a beautiful day, it had been a crazy month with rainy days, cold days or days that would star off sunny and change before noon into cloudy and chilly. But on that particular day the sun was shinning bright and the clouds were only crowning the sky, as if they were receiving the birth of a princess. I was standing by a window at the exact moment you were born, and that’s when I knew everything was going to be alright. Thirty minutes later I called our dad and he confirmed it, a perfectly normal healthy baby girl had born. The truth is I really didn’t know how to feel about you exactly.
Nobody asked me if I wanted you or what I thought, you just came, no permissions or apologies asked. It actually reminds me a lot to someone I know… me. And then in the hospital I held you, with the fear you might feel how I felt and when you began crying the instant I held you, I got scared and gave you back to your mother. And then your aunt said something that stuck with me, she said: “I think that she will be a lot like you (meaning me) when she grows up”. Now, I know she was referring to our appearance, but for some reason it struck to me like something beyond our looks and I got scared. You see, one of the main reasons I didn’t want children of my own and specially daughters is because I don’t want them to grow up like me. Don’t miss-understand me, I had a great childhood and the best companions, to share it with. Those years were fantastic. But innocence is lost whether we want it or not, and I had a rough ride through those years defining right from wrong. Now I may not be the sweetest sister you’ll have, if you’re looking for a kiss a hug or a sweet word you’ll probably have to ask your other sister. I’ve never been too good for that. But if you’re looking for a word of encouragement, an honest opinion about anything, or a word of knowledge, you can count on me. I can’t say I’ve seen the world and know its secrets, because that wouldn’t be true. But I know its people, the good and the evil and know a few things about life, and in many aspects of life itself I can say “been there, done that.” What I’m trying to say with this is that in many situations that you’ll have to go through life I might have a good advice to give or at least tell you the no’s of that case, without judging you. So this is a book for you my dear, because the truth is I don’t have much to give than this, some words of truth. Something I wish I had while I was growing up, something I hope you can use, not as a book of rules, but as a guide. No matter what I say, you still have your own decisions to take and your own person to become, and no one, absolutely no one can tell you who you are supposed to be; you have to figure out that yourself.You told me to write a letter to you, and I asked you why. You shrugged and looked away and the subject was dropped.
I cannot write a letter to you because there was too much to say and there were too little words. What would you have me write? That I look for excuses to talk to you longer on the…
hanging on to the night, watching down below
Until we were hand in hand, together waiting for them
And when I open my eyes I saw it too
Stars falling down, when I fell for you
| — | Stars Falling Down by Kina Grannis (via quote-book) |
